Natural Born Success by Paul Burgess

Author:Paul Burgess
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2011-12-24T00:00:00+00:00

Depending on their other drives, lovers driven to Verify will always be looking to improve. They will also seek reassurance from other sources, so they may check their own results against averages stated in magazine articles with titles such as, ‘Are you good in bed?’ If they are driven to Verify and also driven to Authenticate, they are likely to just ask their partner what he or she likes. If their partner is the same, then there are the makings of a very honest and open relationship with great sex! If, on the other hand, their partner is driven to Avoid Authenticate, he or she will not want to have a discussion about their sex life — preferring that the other person read between the lines instead. For Verify people who are with an Avoid Verify partner, whatever they do will be seen as good because Avoid Verify people are naturally very accepting (although they may occasionally leave clues — such as highlighted magazine passages — for their partner to indicate how they’re feeling). Also, those driven to Avoid Verify may suffer from performance anxiety due to their need to get things right the first time!

When it comes to communication — a big part of any relationship — those driven to Verify need to discuss things thoroughly. They need to know why something is happening; if there is a problem appearing in their relationship, it is the Verify-driven people who will notice. Keen to solve the problem early and find a solution, they are much more likely than those driven to Avoid Verify to raise an issue. Avoid Verify lovers often don’t even see the problem until someone with the Verify drive points it out to them.

In an argument, those driven to Verify can be dogmatic and stubborn and will challenge any statement or accusation thrown at them — defying the other person to prove it with examples. For example, say Susie and John are arguing and John is driven by the Instinct to Verify™. When Susie accuses John of being arrogant she may say, ‘When we were waiting to be seated at the restaurant the other night, you were rude to the waiter’. He will reply, ‘Yeah, well he deserved it — he didn’t even offer to take your coat!’ Those driven to Verify are really good at becoming caught up in examples and defending and justifying their position, rather than hearing what is being said and taking it on board. Susie could give thousands of examples of John’s behaviour, but he would justify every one of them in his mind — but it won’t alter the fact that he behaved badly. Susie — who is driven to avoid the Instinct to Verify™ and driven by the Instinct to Complete™ — hates scenes and just wants harmony. Avoid Verify people are typically much more accommodating of others than people driven by the Instinct to Verify™ — so the incident in the restaurant will have completely ruined Susie’s night. Before

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